Lily: Why would Natalie hang up on you?
Ted: I don't know.
Barney: Did you sleep with her sister?
Ted: No.
Barney: Did you sleep with her mom?
Ted: No.
Barney: I'm losing interest in your story.
You're having one of those days when you're thinking about the last cool girl you met, how you two had a great time together, how you'd love to meet her again and how the universe is seemingly conspiring against you guys meeting again. She seemed truly interested, but then you never heard from her again. Why does this happen for so many men?
Here are my top 5 reasons why certain women might not want to call you:
- She was Busy: However hard our analytical minds might not want to believe this, its actually a big reason why girls don't call back. However, watch out for the eternal 'Oh-I-am-so-busy-always' kind of girl - they will not find time to grab lunch with you even when you let them know two weeks in advance.
- She was Just Being Polite: Ever exchanged numbers with someone who seems interested, gave you the right number but never returned those calls? Well, she was just being polite dude. Translation - she does not want to hook up and you gotta move on. A simple thumb rule is to never try to make contact too soon, and wait between the trials. If the girl does not respond after three genuine attempts, its her loss. Say that loud - ITS HER LOSS!
- She was Confused and Needs Time: There might be instances when you meet her and have a great time but on other days, she is just PMS-ing (defined in #3 here) over text/phone/in person. It’s fine to casually ask in a playful way, “I’m curious since you’re kinda cute -- are you dating anyone interesting right now?” Invite honesty from women and you might get lucky. If you wait and wonder, you’ll end up wasting your own time and energy. Give her time, if she is still talking and meeting you, she is interested in you. Everyone is allowed mood swings but don't let yourself be the Intellectual Whore - you might not be destined for the second ladder with certain girls.
- She's Lost Interest: She was interested in you at first, but something happened along the way to change her mind about you. In this case, maybe she sensed some anxiety from you that she didn’t know how to figure out or handle. Or maybe she sensed a bit of desperation (“You’re going to call me, right?”). Communicating either anxiousness or desperation early on before a woman knows you is a sure attraction-killer. Relax. If she’ll call she’ll call. If not, you know she wasn’t the right one at the right time.
- She's Just a B**ch: Well, enough said. Maybe she was just looking for a fling, for a casual encounter that you misinterpreted as being something more than what it was in her mind. In either case, the saying Angoor Khatte Hain* applies and you're free to bitch and forget about her.
:-)
ps: Feel free to add any good point in the comments section.
*Angoor khatte hain
Literal – Grapes are sour.
Meaning – Denial of the desirability of something, after one has found out that it cannot be reached or acquired.
18 comments:
in the 'her loss' case..usually guyz dont give up..they do not read between the lines..they still keep calling..and texting..and they just dont understand..we in no way mean to mean that whoever the guy is, is not worth of us, probably is worth more but he might just not be our type..so no matter how polite you decide you want to be, after all the 'no-giving-up' business ..there comes a point when one has to be curt/blunt...and then we become 'the bitch'..
I would like to know one stat here.
What percentage of girls you went out with already had a boy friend ?
I am pretty sure it is a high percentage.We mostly like girls who are already in a relationship.
@Sanika: Good point, and hence I recommend the thumb rule of getting in touch only thrice without any response. Besides, guys have the tendency to become 'Intellectual Whores' (follow link in the article to read more). But, I do agree, it kind of becomes irritating when people do not get the hint and you have to be 'in the face' although I'll have to say that it happens both ways. Guys have to do that occasionally and contrary to common perception, not all guys who do it are bastards! :-)
@Rish: Well, to be truthful, none of them was dating anyone when I asked them out/made clear my interest. But yes, everyone I've gone out with has had a boyfriend before. Wow, I never looked at it that way!
i dont know why do you want to make it so complicated. May be she was just too busy when she received the call (may be its coincidence that every time she gets a call, she is pre-occupied).
If she really is avoiding calls, then waste time and efforts on her? Just move on!!!
@anonymous: Yeah, the only problem with 'being busy every time I call' is that it doesn't work over a long period of time. You gotta return calls and be proactive in making up to the other person; unless of course you're not interested.
And yes, the 'just move on' is the toughest part - if you weren't stuck on a person, you'd be happier without the tantrums..
"She hung up" would surely mean... she got someone else or anticipates that he would finally end up in her life... after this reason is satisfied, she would give each of these top 5 reasons at different point of time, to hang up...(as correctly said by sanika)
# real-life experience... [:)]
Never been there or done that...but I would say....and I have to say Rish's comment is very true..guy's do like girls who are already taken..for what reason..hmm lets see..may be bcoz it reassures them that the girl is definitely worth something, since some other guy has already snagged her!My 2 cents...
I really like this post...u shld also write your thoughts on "what it means if HE doesn't call?" that would interesting too ...
Sir with due respect and living in denial, I can think of 2 points.
1. Maybe, you slept with her girl-friend. World is changing a lot, you know.
2. Is Anonymous, the one who is not calling you anymore. LOL!
3. Quite a hilarious observation. But I would rather take the "Chill!" route. Maybe now, I spark another debate: No girl is worth the "interest" which guys always want to show.
Ohh maybe I said 3 points. :)
Enough said, We all love girls! anyway. :)
I think in most cases its the "she was being polite case".... If she reeeeeally likes you.... She will pick up your call... or even might call back.... so dude... in your words -MOVE ON!
@Raj: Damn dude, you have a lot of battle scars! :-)
@ESIH: True - and maybe statistically thats true. However, ironically I personally am attracted to women who have never dated - its awesomely frustrating at times but the rewards are amazing ;-)
@Anki: Umm...well, if I think about it, I have been the 'He who does not call back' occasionally. So, although I could relate and write about it, I really don't want to since it dredges up some not to pleasant emotions...How about you or ESIH take a shot at it first?
@Manu Kant: I agree with the last line :P
@Geetanjali (oops, anonymous :D): Yes, very true. Btw, the article is not about me, so don't address it to me :). And btw, its not easy to move on, whether you are a guy or a girl...
Nice one Leui!!!
Guys are often too fast..they can't wait for the right time...they need an answer or DTR (U know it) as soon as possible...So they start thinking too much...esp about useless things(like the points in this blog)..and this happens only when there is no in the queue(or ladder) right now ;-) or someone has nothing to do but..wait for her call n think...think n wait for call.....
So, don't think too much...try to find another gal...Forrest Gump: My momma always said, "Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get." :D
By the way, I know that it's not easy to move on, but..trust me..it's the easiest thing when someone else (new) is in your life :-)...
Cheers..
that looks like some good analysis. looking forward to more follow up posts on this topic.
@Som: Is there anyone new in ur life? Your comments are suggestive enough of the fact.
Humein bhi pata chale... kya scene hai?
Sour grapes (its her loss) wont really apply in such a situation, would it? I mean, the grapes can only be sour if they really are out there. You could just be barking up a conifer, and hoping that something clicks. (Okay, i messed up some metaphors, forgive me.) It cant be her loss, if she never really was out there to gain something. Everyone likes surprises, but things like these are always reciprocated. Stop trying to make urself feel better by saying she doesnt deserve you. Maybe she just doesnt want you. There are things known as type mismatches too. You may be the right guy, just for someone else. Or maybe you have no analogue out there. Delusions never really help anyone except the psychiatrist you visit later on in life.
Besides this, I actually agree with the headings you've put up, maybe not the finer details you highlighted beyond that.
Interesting post, and everytime I tried to focus on an answer, nothing came to mind. This is just a gut reaction with no mind involvement (hey, it is 12 o clock somewhere right) ;-)
Your post has a reply from my new post...
"ITS HER LOSS!" ... loz .. yeah its a great way to ward of negativity. :)
If the girl is not returning the calls, in all probability she is not interested in you to the extent you are and she has better things to do ... but there are a few who kind of likes to keep you hanging .. they respond time to time so that your interest doesn't wane :)
I read your post on IW and IP and it surely made lot of sense.
Post a Comment